Haiz.. I feel that im sux! I hav no choice.. Dont ask mi why i said liddat... I hav observe a long time... Mostly of the ppl doesn't likes mi, i asked them everytime... But they also say wont.. I dont believe.. REALLY!! h0w i wanna believe? Even myself als0 knoe wat kind of attitude is tis!! a really really worse... Sometimes i had feel to commit suicide.. BUt i knoe that is a really silly action... BUt somtimes i really cant stand it.. And i'll cry by myself.. Who knoes wat im thinkin abt?? Who knoes wat i wanna do... They say they understand.. but i knoe... They dont understand at all... BUt in hse.. after my upsr.. My mother and father gib mi more and more pressure..And some of my friendz need me to be wif them... In school actually i dunno wat's happening...Izzit when i need them, they wont talk to mi... And when they need mi... Only they talk to mi and call mi to help them.. Meanz im juz for help?? izzit called friendz? i don't knoe lah... BUt for mi.. this make mi bcome luv be myself.. Frenz getting bad and bad.. even myself.. But i knoe, i wont smoke.. i really dont smoke.. but when i knoe 1 by 1 go smoke.. i nearly drop my tears.. can i cry infront of my friendz?? of cuz not.. they'll feel my thinkin is silly and stupid!! i can understand them... I hav no place to release... In home also.. I cry infront my sister ah?? They wont care de... I cry infront my mother and father?? Its kinda weird... So how? I can only cry myself... Maybe sometimes when they are not home.. Or in school... Actually in school sometimes i cant stand it.. I'll go to the toilet and release.. But no ones knoe lar... But it is really hard to stand like that and face them wif smile.. but when i need someone.. there is NO ONE there for mi.. There's only my god.. Of cuz sometimes him wont reply mi.. And i really who to talk to... Before this when i'm wif my ex bf.. I would feel that.. everythings is ok.. And there is no pressure.. Although my result is sux.. BUt he dont care.. Although my friend didnt talk to mi.. He'll besides mi.. And that time becuz of him.. I argued wif my friend.. But i still dont care everything cuz i knoe he'll be there for mi.. BUt in a sudden.. He like dissapear in school.. I asked his friend only i knoe abt where he is.. And in msn.. He asked to brk.. For that time.. I feel that i lost all my things.. And wat i hav... Even my friendz all... And i think for a long time... I didnt rele talk to my frienz.... And i rele be alone olwiz... Till n0w.. already a few months, but i still cant forget.. That he's the one who hurts mi till i still dun dare to couple wif da other boiiz... And maybe im still in luv wif him.. Im really not sure.. I juz knoe that.. He's now a person that maybe living happily in another world far from mi.. Maybe its juz a same town or places.. BUt i think i would make him invicible infront of mi... He's living happily without any worries right now... I knoe i should let him go...Nobody understands me... Nobody know wat im talking abt... And nobody will listen to my stories or my blamming... I can only talk to the blog.. And cry by myself... This wat's im thinking.. There's no one that can bring mi to the colourful world.... And i think i rele hard to believe in boii agn.. Until a boiiz can soften my heart... And tell me his real thinking... NO FAKE.. And there is no one can hurt me agn.. Or else.. I really will crazy... and crazy... by myself...